How to Rizz: 15 Science-Backed Tips to Charm Anyone

Did you know it’s not always the looks that get you the attention, but how you play the game of flirting?

Dr. Monica Moore reveals a secret in the world of rizz: those who make the first move aren’t necessarily the hottest in the room. Through her research in singles bars and social spots, she discovered that it’s about signaling your interest and confidence more so than good looks that makes people attracted.

What other fascinating science and tips can we learn? In this article, we’ll go over how to rizz a girl or guy up and how to get rizz yourself!

But first…

What is Rizz?

Rizz is an individual’s unique mix of confidence, engaging body language, and flirting skills. A term coined by Gen Z in 2022 and recognized by Oxford as embodying “style, charm or attractiveness,” rizz also stems from the word “charisma” and captures the essence of modern attraction. This trend emphasizes the art of nonverbal cues, like eye contact, and the finesse of verbal interactions, highlighting how personal style and charm play pivotal roles in creating connections.

Embracing rizz means making lasting, positive impressions through social skills, turning everyday encounters into opportunities for a deeper connection.

Want to see rizz in action? Here’s an example: Imagine you’re casually browsing the aisles at a bookshop. You spot someone intriguing also flipping through books. Instead of just shooting admiring glances from afar, you use rizz. Holding a quirky sci-fi novel, you walk over and say with a playful smirk, “Do you think we’re ready for an alien invasion, or should I stick to less apocalyptic reading?”

That’s rizz in action, using charm and a dash of wit to create a super-suave moment.

But you don’t have to be a pickup artist (or act sleazy) to know how to rizz someone up.

The Very Best Tips to Rizz Easily

When you approach someone, does it resemble the famous Eminem song, Lose Yourself? (Palms sweating, knees weak, arms are heavy?)

No worries! Here’s how to rizz a girl or guy like a pro (with science!):

Harness Your Body Language Rizz

Body language is a make-it-or-break-it rizz signal that can either make you look ultra-confident and suave or like a character auditioning for The Walking Dead. How do you harness your body language so you ooze rizz?

Try these powerful tips:

The Power Stance: Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, a stance that speaks of confidence. Avoid slouching or leaning too heavily on one leg, which can signal disinterest or uncertainty.

When it comes to Eye Contact, balance is key. Maintaining eye contact for about 60-70% of the time is effective in conversations. It shows you’re engaged but not overly intense. If you’re speaking to a big group, occasionally glance at different group members to include them in your message.

Head Tilts are subtly powerful. A slight tilt while listening indicates that you are actively engaged in what the other person is saying. It’s a nonverbal nod of encouragement.

In terms of Arm Placement, a lot rides on context. In a one-on-one conversation, keep your arms uncrossed, as this posture invites openness. Use hand gestures to emphasize points during a presentation, but remember, the gestures should be controlled and purposeful. Flailing arms can be distracting.

Mirroring, when done subtly, can be a powerful tool. If the person you’re speaking with leans in, it’s often effective to lean in slightly as well, matching their level of engagement. This creates a subconscious bond. However, mirroring must be natural, not a mimicry.

Integrating Smiles into your interactions can make you seem more approachable and personable. A genuine smile (be careful not to have a fake one) at the beginning of a meeting or a conversation can set a positive tone.

In terms of Proximity and Space, it’s important to respect personal boundaries while conveying engagement. In a group setting, positioning yourself so you can see everyone and everyone can see you without invading personal space is key.

Lastly, Nodding in agreement or understanding shows that you are following along and encourages others to contribute more.

Body language is an invaluable tool to up your rizz significantly. If you want to learn how to improve yourself even further, we got you covered:

Give An Unexpected Compliment

In the rizz game, the unique compliments leave a lasting impression. Not the ordinary ones (although they can work!).

The next time you’re conversing with a guy or girl, take a moment to be truly present. Dig deep (and use your empathy) and make specific observations that show you truly see the person. Let’s explore how this works across different settings:

• At the Gym: “Your choice of exercises seems effective. It’s cool to see someone who knows their way around the gym.”
• In the Local Park: “You can just blend in with this peaceful setting. It’s nice to see someone so in tune with nature.”
• At the Bakery: “You seem to have a knack for picking the best pastries. It’s like you’ve got a secret bakery radar!”
• During a Networking Event: “You have a natural ease in starting conversations here. It’s refreshing at an event like this.”
• In a Bookstore: “The book you’re holding—your taste in genres seems intriguing. It’s great to meet someone who dives into different worlds.”

Pro Tip: If you’re good at it, try cold reading. This involves you making educated guesses about someone’s background, preferences, or personality and then revealing these insights gradually. For example, if you notice someone sporting a university keychain, you could steer the conversation toward topics related to education or personal growth instead of directly mentioning it.

Later in the conversation, reveal your “guess” about their educational background. This approach demonstrates your attention to detail and creates a sense of intrigue and depth in your interactions.

Gauge Their Personality

Mastering rizz starts with a keen eye for personality cues.

Is the person you’re chatting with an extrovert or an introvert? Observe their body language and conversation style:

• For extroverts, engage with bold, energetic banter and topics that fuel their outgoing nature. For an extrovert, ask them interesting, open-ended questions.
• But if they lean towards introversion, opt for a quieter, more thoughtful approach. For an introvert, tell them interesting stories. 

I highly recommend checking out our guide for introverts: Are You An Introvert? 8 Ways To Make Introversion Your Superpower.

They might prefer dry wit or lighthearted jokes, talking about cats more than dogs, or choose a more casual approach rather than a direct one. 

Rizz is about flexing your social muscle to match their style (without being inauthentic!). Master the art of changing social gears (like a chameleon!), and you can talk to anyone. 

Want to learn more? Watch the video below:

Ask a Hypothetical Question

How do you keep the conversation going? Hypothetical scenarios are a great way to add fun and creativity to conversations—these playful “what ifs” can reveal much about a person’s thinking and sense of humor.

Here are some examples:

• Urban Jungle Adventure: “If you could have any wild animal as a pet in the city, what would it be? Imagine walking a giraffe down the street!”
• Time-Travel Dilemma: “If you could travel back in time for just one day, which historical event would you choose to witness?”
• Desert Island: “You’re stranded on a deserted island, but you can have an unlimited supply of one dessert. What’s your survival sweet?”
• Superpower Selection: “If you could have any superpower for a day, what would you choose and why? Flight, invisibility, or something even more outlandish?”
• The Great Animal Showdown: “Okay, think fast: one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses – which would you rather face in a whimsical showdown?”

Want more ways to keep the conversation rizz up? Check out 10 Ways to Have and Hold Dazzling Conversation With Anyone

Demonstrate Value Through Storytelling

Storytelling is one of the most ancient and effective ways to create connection. When learning how to rizz a girl or how to rizz a boy, having a few well-crafted stories ready can make a huge difference.

The best stories for rizz:

• Are brief (1-2 minutes max)
• Reveal something interesting about your character
• Include a touch of vulnerability
• End with a light tone or question that brings the focus back to them

For example: “Last summer I volunteered at this wildlife sanctuary—I’ve always been fascinated by conservation. There was this one stubborn parrot who would only eat if I sang to him! Completely embarrassing but totally worth it. Have you ever had any unexpected animal encounters?”

This kind of story demonstrates values (caring about wildlife), shows a bit of vulnerability (singing embarrassingly), and ends with a question that passes the conversation back.

Create a Memorable First Impression

The first few seconds of meeting someone new are crucial for establishing rizz. Research shows that people form initial impressions in just 100 milliseconds^{1https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-08846-008}, and these impressions can be difficult to change later.

100 milliseconds isn’t much to work with, but here’s how you can make the most of it:

• Make your entrance count: How you walk into a room signals confidence
• Start with positive energy: Your enthusiasm is contagious and sets the tone
• Use their name naturally: People respond positively to hearing their own name
• Be present, not perfect: Authenticity beats performance every time
• Begin with an unexpected greeting: Skip generic “how are you” for something more memorable

For example, instead of “Nice to meet you, I’m Alex,” try “You know, I had a feeling I’d meet someone interesting today—I’m Alex, and you’ve just confirmed my prediction.”

Want to find out THE single first impression cue that matters most for attraction? Find out here: The First Impression Cue Men and Women Find Most Attractive

Future Project a Shared Adventure

When you are with someone, try to mention ideas for plans… and confidently ask them to join.

Ask them if any good movies are coming out…then say, “We should go together!”

Ask them for restaurant recommendations…then say, “We should go this weekend!”

Ask them if they like to hike…then say, “Want to join me next week?”

Always be confident enough to presume your relationship will continue in the future! You can also play silly future imagination games.

For example, you can say, “Imagine we’re in the most outlandish Starbucks on the planet—I’m thinking of a café floating in space. What would be your intergalactic coffee order?” Bam! You’re not just making conversation but co-creating a whimsical space adventure over lattes.

Why does future projection work? Science tells us that our connections aren’t just about exchanging words but the shared rhythm of our interactions. One study found that attraction between partners was predicted by synchrony in heart rate and skin conductance, indicating that our subconscious plays a more significant role than we may think.

It’s not about our words, but rather the vibe we give.

Want more juicy (yet casual) future projection examples? Here you go:

• Park: “If we could teleport to any park in the world right now, where would you want to go? Central Park for a stroll, or somewhere more exotic?”
• Bookstore: “If you could jump into the story of any book here, which one would you choose? I’m curious about your taste in adventures.”
• Art Gallery: “Just for fun, what would it look like if you could create a piece of art for this gallery? Abstract, realistic, or something different?”
• Airport: “Hypothetically, if we were both waiting for a delayed flight, what would be your go-to activity to kill time? Reading, people-watching, or something else?”

Fun Fact: All this is part of small talk! And there’s a nearly infinite amount of ways to use small talk in a conversation. We put together the very best ways here in this video:

Use a Thoughtful Gesture

Thoughtful gestures are the hidden gems of rizz, demonstrating your attentiveness and care. These small, meaningful acts show you’ve been paying attention to what they like or dislike. Essentially, you’re saying, “I see and appreciate you.”

Here’s how to make it super interesting:

• Bring their favorite coffee order unexpectedly.
• Make a playlist of songs from their favorite genre or artist.
• Gift them a book from their favorite genre or author.
• Get them a treat from their favorite dessert category.
• Find tickets to a show or event they’re interested in.
• Offer to join them for a workout session if they love fitness.
• Take them to a craft market if they love handmade goods.
• Invite them for a night of stargazing if they’re into astronomy.
• Cook a meal featuring their favorite cuisine.
• Gift them a plant or a unique seed packet if they love gardening.

And if you want even more ideas, we got you covered: 62 Unique Ideas to Be a Nicer Person, According to Science

Playfully Tease by Selective (But Never Fully!) Ignoring 

Witty banter builds emotional connection by creating shared moments of laughter, which release feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin.

How to do it:

• Listen and latch on: Great banter starts with active listening. Pick up on something they say and spin it into a playful comment. If they mention loving sci-fi movies, you might say, “So, are you secretly training to be the next Jedi, or is it just the lightsaber aesthetic you’re into?” This shows you’re paying attention and adds a fun twist.
• Keep it light and teasing: Banter thrives on gentle, flirty jabs that invite a response. Important: witty banter is NOT about offending people. For example, if they brag about their coffee-ordering skills, you could grin and say, “Oh, you think you’re the barista whisperer? Bet I could guess your order—gimme a hint!” It’s small but inviting, setting them up to fire back.
• Use the rule of surprise: Unexpected responses keep banter fresh. If they ask what you’re up to, instead of “Just chilling,” try, “Currently plotting to convince my cat to pay rent. You got any wild weekend plans?”
• Texting banter: If they send a photo of their lunch, you might reply, “That salad looks like it’s ready for its close-up in a foodie magazine! What’s the secret ingredient?”
• Know when to pivot: After a few exchanges, shift to a deeper question or a sincere compliment to balance the rizz vibe. For example, after some playful teasing, you might say, “Okay, you’re quick with the comebacks—now I’m curious, what’s something you’re super passionate about?”

Pro Tip: Gauge their personality to tailor your banter (see our tip on reading cues!). Extroverts might love bold, rapid-fire quips, while introverts may prefer subtler, story-driven humor. And if you’re worried about landing your lines, practice with low-stakes chats—like joking with a barista—to build your confidence.

Fun Fact: Knowing how to use your wits on the fly can take time! But it may only be intuitive for some. Learn how to master witty banter here: Be an Expert at Witty Banter…How to Charm With Your Words.

Play With The Power of Props

Props, in the realm of rizz, are not just objects; they are GREAT for sparking conversations. Whenever I attend networking events, I make it a habit of carrying one perfect prop.

Props are a “nonverbal” way to boost your rizz without saying anything.

Here’s how you can leverage them:

• Books and Gadgets: Carrying a book or using a unique phone app? These are great conversation starters for asking, “What are you reading?” or “What’s that app?”
• Personal Accessories: What about the accessories you wear? A funky hat, unusual necklace, or vintage watch can be a focal point. They’re not just fashion statements but conversation pieces. “Where did you get that hat?” or “That necklace looks like it has a story” are comments that can open up a dialogue, allowing you to share anecdotes or interests.
• The Unusual Items: Sometimes, the most mundane items can be the most interesting. A sketchbook, a puzzle, or even a set of unique keychains can catch someone’s eye. They’re unexpected, and in their uniqueness, they intrigue. “What are you sketching?” or “That puzzle looks challenging!” are ways people might engage, leading to an exchange of ideas or playful challenges.

Regarding rizz, props make your approach less about direct flirting and more about shared experiences and stories. It can be subtle yet effective!

Use the Rollercoaster Effect of Fractionation

You know how people say relationships are like a rollercoaster ride with many ups and downs? The same can be said in a conversation. This is where the concept of ‘Fractionation’ comes into play. It alternates between emotionally deep, meaningful conversations and light, playful banter.

This technique creates an emotional rollercoaster that can intensify the connection. Share a personal, heartfelt story, then switch to a humorous anecdote. This back-and-forth keeps the interaction dynamic and unpredictable, fostering a stronger emotional bond.

Here’s a great example (let’s call the one doing this technique the Rizz Master):

• Rizz Master: “This coffee shop’s vibe is like a hidden gem in the city jungle, isn’t it? A perfect escape from the chaos.” (Setting a vivid, relaxed scene)
• Random Person: “Definitely. It’s like a secret sanctuary. I love the eclectic music they play. Do you come here often for the ambiance?” (Responding to the mood set by the Rizz Master)
• Rizz Master: “Quite a bit. It’s my recharge zone. Speaking of escapes, if you could jet off to any fantasy world, which one would it be?” (Transitioning to a more imaginative, deeper topic)
• Random Person: “Fantasy world? I’d say the world of Avatar. Floating mountains seem breathtaking. How about you?” (Engaging with the imaginative prompt)
• Rizz Master: “I’d love to explore the Hogwarts castle, magic and mystery around every corner. But back to reality, what magical skills are you wielding in your day job?” (Shifting back to a real-world topic with a playful twist)

Maintain a Balance Between Confidence and Humility

Being self-assured is important, but there’s a fine line between having confident rizz and an insufferable ego. 

Find the balance between confidence and humility by:

• Being sure of yourself without needing to prove anything
• Owning your mistakes with grace
• Expressing your opinions while remaining open to others’ views
• Showcasing your strengths in ways that elevate others too
• Being comfortable with not knowing everything

For example, phrases like “I’m still learning about that, what’s your take?” show both confidence (you’re secure enough to admit gaps in knowledge) and humility (you value their expertise).

Demonstrate Social Proof

People are drawn to folks who are already liked. When you subtly show that you’re a fun person that others want to be around, you’re demonstrating “social proof” and enhancing your perceived value.

Here’s something really important, though: don’t try too hard to come across as popular. Let it be conveyed naturally. Here are some ways to naturally demonstrate social proof:

• Having positive interactions with others in group settings
• Casually mentioning friends or relationships that show you’re socially valued
• Being well-regarded by service staff or others in your environment
• Showing comfort and confidence in social settings
• Having a large social media following

For example, making small talk with the barista at a coffee shop subtly demonstrates your social capabilities.

Leverage the Power of Touch (Appropriately!)

Research^{2https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149763408001723?via%3Dihub} shows that touch can be an extremely powerful tool in enhancing connection and developing social bonds. 

Appropriate, well-timed touches can increase positive perceptions, create memorable interactions and—yes—increase romantic attraction.

Rizz someone up with these examples of appropriate touch in social settings:

• A light touch on the upper arm to emphasize a point
• A brief hand on the shoulder when greeting
• A high-five or fist bump to celebrate a shared idea

The key rules for touch:

• Always be respectful of personal boundaries
• Start with socially acceptable touches (handshakes, high-fives)
• Be attuned to how they respond before escalating
• When in doubt, wait for them to initiate

Important Note: Cultural norms around touch vary significantly! Always prioritize respect and consent over any attraction technique.

Create Shared Experiences and Inside Jokes

One of the fastest ways to build connection is through shared experiences that create unique memories between you. Even small shared moments can create powerful bonds.

Ideas for creating micro-shared experiences:

• Trying an unusual food or drink together
• Playing a quick game or challenge
• Sharing an observation that only the two of you notice
• Creating a silly nickname for something in your environment

These experiences become the foundation for inside jokes and references that strengthen your unique connection over time.

Pro Tip: When you create a memorable shared moment, reference it in your follow-up communications to strengthen the bond.

BONUS: The Best Rizz Pickup Lines

Feeling confident? Spice up your rizz game with these fun, unique pickup lines that are sure to make an impression:

• “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
• “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together.”
• “Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
• “Are you a time traveler? Because you’ve got ‘future’ written all over you.”
• “Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.”
• “Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: MY JAW!”
• “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’”
• “Do you have Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.”
• “If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.”
• “Is it hot here, or just our chemistry?”
• “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.”
• “If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine apple’.”
• “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
• “Your hand looks heavy—can I hold it for you?”
• “You must be a loan from a bank because you’ve got my interest!”

Remember, delivery is everything! Keep it light-hearted fun, and always respect the other person’s reactions.

The Science of Rizz

Our brains are wired to respond to certain social cues that signal confidence, authenticity, and genuine interest.

So while being hot obviously gives you a leg up, having rizz is often more about dialling in all of the little behavioral things that you can control—that combination of your body language, conversational skills, emotional intelligence, and authenticity all working together to create an irresistible magnetism. 

When we interact with someone, our brains make split-second judgments based on:

• Facial expressions and micro-expressions
• Vocal tone and cadence
• Body language and movement
• Conversational dynamics and listening behaviors
• Shared laughter and emotional synchrony

By optimizing these things, you can draw people in by striking a balance between making others feel at ease while simultaneously providing a sense of intrigue. This delicate interplay between comfort and novelty is the foundational step when learning how to get rizz.

Want to dive deeper into the fascinating world of what makes us attracted to certain people? Check out our comprehensive guide: The Science of Attraction: Why We Love Certain People.

​​How to Rizz Up a Guy or Girl Over Text

Mastering the art of text messages is crucial, especially when it comes to rizzing. How do you do it? Take into consideration these 10 tips:

• Unique Text Timing: Send texts at unexpected times, like a good morning text with a twist, “Saw the sunrise and thought of our conversation about early birds vs. night owls.”
• Mystery Links: Send intriguing links without immediate explanation, “This made me think of you,” followed by a link to a song or an article, creating curiosity.
• Typing Tease: Start typing a message, then stop, creating anticipation. Follow up later with an intriguing statement, but keep in mind to avoid being manipulative.
• Screenshot Sharing: Share a screenshot of something (like a part of a book or a tweet) related to a previous conversation, adding a personal comment.
• Voice Notes: Use voice messages for a more personal touch. I especially love doing this when sharing a joke or a story to add inflection and warmth.
• Interactive Text Games: Initiate text-based games like “21 Questions” but with creative twists tailored to their interests.
• Story Building: Start a fun story and ask them to add the next part, making it a collaborative and playful exchange.
• Delayed Replies for Effect: Strategically delay a response to build suspense or anticipation before revealing something exciting or humorous.
• Double Text with Style: If double texting, make it count. Follow an unanswered text with something completely different and engaging.
• Signature Sign-off: Create a unique sign-off for your texts, something playful or quirky that becomes your texting trademark.

How do you even start a text? Become a master texter by reading our guide, 170 Good Conversation Starters For Texting (in Any Situation), or review the best emojis to use here: 45 Emoji Faces You Should Know and Their (Hidden) Meanings.

How to Rizz Someone Up on Dating Apps

Online dating is now the most popular method for couples to meet. In fact, more relationships start through dating apps than through any other means—making digital rizz an essential skill for modern romance.

The principles of in-person rizz still apply, but with some important adaptations. Here are some key strategies for digital rizz:

• Create an authentic profile: Showcase your genuine interests rather than what you think others want to see. Instead of trying to appear as someone you think is universally appealing, highlight the unique aspects of your personality that make you distinctive. Authenticity creates a solid foundation for genuine connection and attracts people who will appreciate the real you.
• Use quality photos: Include a mix of clear face shots, full-body images, and activity pictures that tell your story. High-quality photos with good lighting demonstrate effort and self-respect, while varied settings showcase different aspects of your life. Avoid heavily filtered images that create unrealistic expectations.
• Write a distinctive bio: Skip generic statements for something memorable and specific. Rather than “I enjoy traveling,” share a brief story about getting lost in Tokyo or your goal to visit every national park. Specific details create conversation hooks and demonstrate personality in ways generic descriptions never can.
• Initiate with personalized messages: Reference something specific from their profile. Generic openers like “hey” suggest minimal effort and interest. Instead, respond to an aspect of their profile that genuinely intrigued you, showing you’ve paid attention and are interested in them specifically.
• Balance response timing: Neither instantly reply to everything nor make them wait days. Finding a middle ground shows interest without appearing desperately available. Matching their response patterns creates a comfortable rhythm that feels natural rather than calculated.
• Demonstrate social (media) proof: Link your Instagram or other social platforms to not only demonstrate social proof, but to also reassure potential matches that you’re a real person. This external validation is crucial for safety and comfort, especially for women who often need to see you have normal social connections before risking an in-person meeting.

Example of good app rizz: If someone mentions loving horror movies in their profile, you might open with, “I see you’re a horror fan—if you were in a horror movie, would you be the final survivor or the friend who figures out what’s happening but still doesn’t make it to the end?”

Action Step: Review your dating profiles with a critical eye. Do they authentically represent your personality and values? Are you giving potential matches enough interesting material to start a conversation?

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About Rizz

Unlock The Power of Rizz

The art of rizz may seem like a mysterious skill, but it’s all about practice and perception.

One fascinating study revealed that flirting is often a subtle game, with people accurately detecting flirting behavior just 28% of the time.

So, don’t be discouraged if you sometimes don’t get it right. The key is to keep engaging, observing, and learning!

Want to dive deeper into the art of attraction and social dynamics? Check out our article for body language tips to enhance your rizz game: How to Be More Attractive: 15 Rules to Increase Attraction