294 Funniest Work Jokes For The Work of The Day (Ultimate List)

Looking for jokes that won’t offend anyone and are safe for work? We’ve gathered the best of the best in this ultimate list of funny and corny work jokes. You just might get some giggles and groans! 

One Liners

1. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
2. I like jokes about stationery but rulers are where I draw the line.
3. There should be confetti in tires so when there is a blow-out it’s still kind of an okay day. 
4. Bread is a lot like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist. 
5. Geology rocks but geography is where it’s at. 
6. One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will join together and be called: YouTwitFace
7. 70% of the earth is water and virtually none of it is carbonated. So the earth is, in fact, flat.
8. Just found out the company that produces yardsticks won’t be making them any longer. 
9. Went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden. 
10. Engineers have made a car that can run on mint. Hopefully, they can make buses and trains run on thyme. 
11. What kind of card does an egg drive? A Yolksvagen.  
12. It’s called gross pay because it’s disgusting to see how much money you would have made before taxes. 
13. Bravely killed a bug at home. Then realized it was a piece of lint. 
14. Did you hear about the corduroy pillow? It’s making headlines. 
15. Plagiarism: Getting into trouble for something you didn’t do.
16. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. -Groucho Marx
17. I was going to tell a carpentry joke but I couldn’t find any that woodwork. 
18. An Irishman walks out of a bar. 
19. Velcro is a complete ripoff. 

Jokes to Message Your Coworker

20. Learn to spell… AutoCorrect isn’t always write. 
21. The fact that Head & Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called  ‘Knees & Toes’ disappoints me. 
22. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data. 
23. I was walking past a farm and a sign said, “Duck, eggs.” I thought, that’s an unnecessary comma. And then it hit me.
24. What’s the difference between Black Eyed Peas and Chick Peas? Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song. Chick Peas can hummus one. 
25. What’s Forrest Gump’s password. 1Forrest1.
26. Why is cold water so insecure? It’s never been called hot. 
27. I sympathize with batteries. I’m not included in anything either.
28. I like what mechanics wear…overall.
29. Did you know that Davy Crockett had three ears? His left ear, his right ear, and his wild frontier.
30. What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper.
31. Doctor: I’m sorry but we had to remove your colon. Me Why?

Want to succeed at work? Here’s something for you:

Be The Most Likable Person In The Room

Learn the skills we’ve taught 500k+ students to become more charismatic and successful — including:

• 💝 5 phrases that will make you instantly more likable
• 🤯 Our secret likability strategy for introverts
• 💬 The #1 trick to never running out of things to say

Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.

Name *

Email *

Register Now FREE!

Joke of the Day for Coworkers

32. A lawyer said to a judge, “My client is trapped inside a penny.” The judge said, “What?” and the lawyer said, “He’s in a cent.” 
33. What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Don’t wok away from me! 
34. Boss told me that as a security guard, it’s my job to watch the office. I’m on season 6 but I’m not really sure what it’s got to do with security. 
35. The CEO of Ikea was appointed Prime Minister of Sweden. He’s currently assembling his cabinet.
36. There were two muffins in an oven and one said, “It’s getting kind of hot in here isn’t it?”. The other muffin gasps, “Ahh! A talking muffin!”
37. Knock, knock, Who’s there? Our new e-book! Our new e-book who?

Please fill out this form with your social security number, name of your first born, GPA, work history, current salary, and phone number of your high school crush and we’ll send you the punch line. 

38. I once survived the fallout from moving an image 1 cm to the right in Word.  
39. An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them and says… “What is this, some kind of joke?”
40. Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Would you like a beer?” Descartes replies, “I think not.” And promptly disappears. 
41. A politician, an artist, and a statistician are out hunting. The politician shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left. The artist takes a shot and misses 5 feet to the right. The statistician yells, “We got ‘em!” 
42. Today I saved $236.17 by not going to Target for toothpaste. 
43. Why does a bride always cry at the wedding? Because she never marries the best man.
44. What’s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What’s purple and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath.
45. Two men are on opposite sides of the river. The first man shouts, “How do I get to the other side of the river?” The other man shouts back, “You ARE on the other side of the river.” 
46. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol place, drinking spot, place for beer, beer now.

Corny Work Jokes

47. This morning I saw a person dragging a clam on a leash behind him. It must be hard to walk with a pulled mussel. 
48. Boss: How good are you are PowerPoint? Me: I Excel at it. Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun? Me: Word. 
49. Me: I want to travel. Bank Account: Where? To work? 
50. Smonday. The moment when Sunday is overtaken by the sadness and anxiety of the coming Monday. 
51. Just started dating someone in admin. They tick all the boxes. 
52. What’s a pirate’s favorite content? WebinARRRRRR! 
53. Why did one auto company attack another auto company? Automotive.
54. Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says, “Now that you mention it, I smell carrots too.”
55. Why did the candle quit his job? He was burned out. 
56. My brother has 2 dobermans called Rolex and Timex. They are watchdogs. 
57. What starts with a W and ends with a T. It really does, I swear!
58. I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is this a trick question? 
59. Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied? Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
60. Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe, but if you remove it, you get…. Gravy. 
61. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows. 
62. If a child refuses to take a nap, does that mean they are resisting arrest? 
63. I sent my hearing aids in for repair 3 weeks ago. I haven’t heard anything since. 
64. What’s a forklift? Food usually. 
65. What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.
66.  Two sailors see an enormous hand come out of the sea. It moves all the way over to one side, then all the way over to the other. One sailor says to the other: “Wow, did you see the size of that wave?”
67. Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Smoking bacon will cure it. 
68. A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks if he has any luggage. The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
69. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness. 

Work Puns

70. I was just in the breakroom and someone threw milk at me… How dairy! 
71. Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum.
72. Sometimes I tell fish jokes just for the halibut. 
73. What do biologists wear to work on Casual Friday? Genes. 
74. Isn’t the Grand Canyon just gorges?
75. I, for one, like Roman Numerals. 
76. Pig puns are so boaring. 
77. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 
78. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi.
79. Tell my Wifi love her. 

Morning Jokes for Work 

80. Why should you never get in a fight with Tryptophan? It’s amino acid.
81. I’ve been doing crunches twice a day now. Captain in the morning. Nestle in the afternoon. 
82. Did you hear that Larry got a new job working for Old Macdonald? He’s the new CIEIO. 
83. Every morning I announce that I’m going running, but then I don’t. It’s a running joke.
84. Why do birds sing every morning? They don’t go to work.
85. What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison. 
86. Spaces between ladder rungs have increased because Americans are getting taller. Manufacturers claim it’s due to climb it change. 

Friday Work Jokes

87. Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing it’s actually Tuesday. 
88. Which day do potatoes fear the most? Fryday.
89. Boss told me to have a good day so I went home. 
90. I went on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday last weekend. Never again. 

Dry Humor Jokes

91. I will now be signing all emails with this disclaimer: On average it takes me two days to overthink the best response to your email. You can be assured that I will reply to you in my head and forget to send you an actual reply. In the future, please save us both the stress on our mental health and avoid sending me any emails.
92. Why did the Apple Watch lose the fight to the grandfather clock? The clock had hands.
93. What’s a tree’s favorite condiment? Branch dressing.
94. What do you call two guys hanging on a window? Kurt and Rod. 
95. How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
96. Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I hope you Excel. 
97. Does my partner think I’m a control freak? I haven’t decided yet. 
98. What genre are national anthems? Country. 
99. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was going through a stage.

Animal Jokes

100. I just ordered the personal number plate BAA BAA. Should look cool on my black jeep. 
101. Just got excited at a crossword clue that was “cheese lovers” and was like, oh! There’s a name for people like me. The answer was, “mice”. 
102. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator. 
103. Why did the frog take the bus to work today? His car got toad. 
104. What do you call a bee that comes from America? USB.
105. Why did the dog go to the bank? To make a deposit. 
106. Two fish are in a tank. One looks to the other and says, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
107. What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce? A Chicken Caesar Salad. 
108. Why don’t dinosaurs make good pets? Because they’re dead. 
109. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a fox? A Fox. 
110. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away. 
111. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. 

Dad Jokes

112. Last night, I accidentally superglued my thumb and finger together… but don’t worry, it will be ok. 👌
113. Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump. 
114. I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them? 
115. Who built King Arthur’s round table? Sir Cumference. 
116. It was David’s first day as a pilot. Control tower asked, “What are your coordinates?” So David said, “I’m by a cloud that looks like a lion.” so control tower says, “Can you be more specific?” So David says, “Simba.”
117. A guy walks into a lumberyard and asks for some two-by-fours. The clerk asks, “How long do you need them?” The guy answers, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.” 
118. When I was at the gym yesterday, everyone kept asking me why I’m always sitting still on the stationary bike. I’m going downhill dude, mind your business. 
119. Did you know you can hear the blood in your veins? You just have to listen varicosely. 
120. Knock, knock. Who’s there? To. To who? No, to whom. 
121. Did you know French fries aren’t actually cooked in France? They are cooked in Greece. 
122. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nobel. Nobel who? You got no bell, so I figured I’d knock.
123. Apparently, you can’t use beef stew as a password. It’s just not stroganoff. 
124. How many elephants can you fit into a Mini Cooper? Two in the front. Two in the back. How can you tell if there are 8 elephants in the church? Easy, there are two Mini Coopers in the parking lot. 
125. Why is a swordfish’s nose 11 inches long? Because if it was 12 inches it would be a foot. 
126. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador.
127. I want to tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants. You’ve probably never heard of herbivore. 
128. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
129. How do you get a country girl’s attention? A tractor. 
130. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe. 
131. What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
132. What is the most detail-oriented ocean? The Pacific.
133. I used to hate facial hair. But now it’s grown on me. 
134. Two cats swam the English Channel. They were called One Two Three and Un Deux Trois. Which cat won? One Two Three, because Un Deux Trois cat sank.
135. What was the foot’s favorite type of chips? Dori-toes.
136. Where would you grow a chef? Bakersfield. 

Office Prank Ideas

137. Switch the office coffee to decaf for a day.
138. Add a humorous inspirational quote to the daily team email.
139. Change desktop wallpapers to a motivational meme.
140. Replace regular pens with fancy feather quills.
141. Put up a sign next to the printer with a voice activation instruction.
142. Fill a coworker’s cubicle with colorful sticky notes containing positive messages.
143. Leave a trail of paper clips leading to a surprise treat in the break room.
144. Strategically place mirrors to make the office look like a funhouse.
145. Arrange a surprise team breakfast with a twist—serve breakfast foods in lunchboxes.
146. Organize an unexpected “Appreciation Day” for a different department.

Manager and Employee Banter

147. Employee: “I found an error in the report.” Manager: “Congratulations, you just invented error-finding!”
148. Manager: “Can you work late tonight?” Employee: “Sure, as long as my future self doesn’t mind.”
149. Employee: “How do you handle stress?” Manager: “I pass it on to you!”
150. Manager: “Are you enjoying your work?” Employee: “Absolutely, it’s the people I can’t stand!”
151. Employee: “What’s the secret to success here?” Manager: “Work hard until you no longer need to introduce yourself.”
152. Manager: “Why are you leaving early?” Employee: “I’m attending the ‘Leaving Work Early’ seminar. Want to come?”
153. Employee: “I’ve found a new way to do this task.” Manager: “As long as it doesn’t involve starting late tomorrow.”
154. Manager: “How’s the new project going?” Employee: “It’s a piece of cake, but I don’t know the recipe.”

Lunch Break Laughs

155. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
156. What’s a math teacher’s favorite place in NYC? Times Square.
157. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
158. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
159. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
160. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
161. What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta.
162. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
163. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
164. Why was the math book happy? Because it had a lot of “problems” solved.

Want to learn how to captivate with social cues? Check out our video with Jordan Harbinger:

Tech and IT Jokes

165. Why did the computer go to art school? To improve its graphic design.
166. Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
167. How do you comfort a JavaScript bug? You console it.
168. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don’t see sharp.
169. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
170. What’s a programmer’s favorite dance? The algo-rhythm.
171. How do you know your software is user-friendly? When the user isn’t an enemy.
172. What’s a coder’s favorite tea? Java.
173. How does a coder apologize? They commit to making changes.
174. Why was the database administrator so good at his job? He had great table manners.

Health and Wellness Humor

175. Why did the computer take its hat off? Because it had a bad hair day.
176. Why don’t we ever stress-eat at work? We chew on our problems instead.
177. Why did the office plant go to therapy? It felt potted.
178. What’s a worker’s favorite yoga pose? Desk pose.
179. What did the stressed-out computer do? It had a byte.
180. Why do we meditate at work? To find inner peace in our inbox.
181. Why did the coworker bring a ladder to work? He wanted to take his career to the next level.
182. How do you know your office is healthy? The computers keep getting better bytes.
183. What’s the best way to avoid office burnout? Don’t light a fire in the first place.
184. Why did the office worker bring a blanket? He wanted to feel comfort in his work zone.

Family Work Humor

185. Why did the family business thrive? Because it was a relative success!
186. What did the work-from-home parent say to the child? “You’re hired!”
187. Why did the parent bring their child to work? To teach them the family “business.”
188. What did the child say to the working parent? “I’ve got your back, office!”
189. What’s a family’s favorite business model? Parent-child hierarchy.
190. Why did the child sit at the parent’s work desk? He wanted to chair the meeting.
191. How do parents succeed in working from home? By managing their little resources.
192. Why did the parent get a promotion? Because the children were on board.
193. What’s a working parent’s favorite tool? A briefcase full of toys.
194. Why did the child visit the parent at work? To check on the family’s stock options.

Creative Meeting Icebreakers

195. If your day had a theme song, what would it be?
196. Describe your current project using only three emojis.
197. What would your job title be if it were brutally honest?
198. Share a fact about yourself that’s not on your résumé.
199. If your work attitude were a weather condition, what would it be today?
200. What’s your spirit animal during team meetings?
201. If you were a superhero at work, what would your power be?
202. Share a funny GIF that describes your work week.
203. If you could swap jobs with anyone in the office for a day, who would it be?
204. What’s the most creative excuse you’ve heard for being late to a meeting?

Retirement and Farewell Jokes

205. Welcome to retirement: Your new job is finding things to do!
206. You know you’re retired when “sleeping in” means waking up at 6 AM.
207. Farewell and good luck with the new position: Chief of Leisure Operations!
208. Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living.
209. They say retirement is the world’s longest coffee break. Enjoy!
210. Goodbye tension, hello pension!
211. What do retirees call a long lunch? Normal.
212. Congratulations on your new job title: Full-Time Grandparent!
213. Why did the retiree smile all the time? Because they couldn’t hear what you were saying!
214. How do retirees spend their time? 50% napping, 50% trying to remember what they needed from the kitchen.

Weekend Countdown Humor

215. Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday so close to Monday?
216. Weekends are like rainbows; they look good from far away!
217. What’s a weekend’s favorite dance move? The Friday night slide.
218. Why are weekends like a refreshing beverage? They never last long enough.
219. I’m not saying I live for the weekends, but I check for Fridays every day.
220. Why do weekends go by faster than weekdays? They have more fun!
221. What’s a weekend’s least favorite game? Hide and seek with Monday.
222. Why did the weekend file a police report? It got robbed by Monday.
223. If weekends were people, I’d hug them.
224. What’s a weekend’s favorite word? Long.

Eco-Friendly Office Jokes

225. Why did the office go green? To reduce its carbon footprint jokes.
226. What did the eco-friendly coffee mug say? “I’m all about green energy!”
227. Why did the environmentalist use a pencil? Because it was the most renewable resource.
228. How do you write a green office memo? In environmentally friendly fonts.
229. Why did the tree get a promotion? It had the right roots in the company.
230. What’s a solar panel’s favorite work shift? The daylight shift.
231. How do you know an office is eco-friendly? They recycle their jokes.
232. Why did the wind turbine apply for a job? It wanted to be a big fan of the company.
233. What did the office plant say to the environmentalist? “Leaf me alone during work hours.”
234. Why do eco-friendly workers always carry a notebook? Because they don’t want to lose their green thoughts.

Even More Work Jokes

235. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
236. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
237. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
238. I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”
239. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
240. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
241. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
242. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
243. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
244. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
245. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
246. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
247. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
248. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
249. What did one hat say to the other hat? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
250. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
251. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
252. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
253. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!

Quirky Quips for Work Email Sign-offs

254. “Signing off before my coffee does. Have a brew-tiful weekend!”
255. “Keep calm and pretend it’s already the weekend.”
256. “Email you later – I’m currently ‘spreadsheet’ too thin!”
257. “In an array of spreadsheets, you excel. Cheers to a formula-free weekend!”
258. “Sent from my keyboard to yours. Have a tech-tastic day!”
259. “Rebooting my brain for the weekend. System update will resume on Monday.”
260. “Survived another week of back-to-back meetings. I’m virtually waving goodbye!”
261. “Logging off before my next meeting becomes my permanent residence.”
262. “Sprinting towards the weekend like it’s the deadline for my favorite project.”
263. “The only thing I’m chasing this weekend is my relaxation. Deadline: Monday.”
264. “Teamwork makes the dream work. Dreaming of a peaceful weekend!”
265. “Cheers to a team that’s stronger than our coffee. Enjoy your well-deserved break!”
266. “May your weekend be as filled with joy as my plate is with cookies.”
267. “Signing off to pursue my true passion – sampling the weekend’s brunch menu.”
268. “Looking at the bright side, the next weekend is just five days away!”
269. “Every email is a step closer to the weekend. Step achieved, signing off!”
270. “Contemplating the deeper meaning of ‘out of office.’ Back on Monday with insights.”
271. “Seeking wisdom in weekend relaxation. Will return wiser (or just well-rested).”
272. “Wandering into the weekend. Will find my way back to the inbox on Monday.”
273. “Jetting off to my living room for a weekend adventure. Back on Monday!”
274. “Running away from my emails for a weekend workout. Back on track Monday!”
275. “Stepping away for a marathon session… of relaxing. Catch you on the flip side!”

Humorous Team-Building Activities for the Workplace

276. Office Olympics: Organize a series of fun, office-friendly competitions such as chair races, paper plane contests, or fastest typing challenges.
277. Two Truths and a Lie: Each team member shares two true statements and one false statement about themselves, and others guess which one is the lie.
278. Impromptu Skit Session: Break into groups and give each a random topic to create a short, funny skit to perform in front of the team.
279. Caption This Picture: Display a funny, work-appropriate picture and have teams come up with the most hilarious caption.
280. Mystery Lunch: Randomly pair team members to have lunch together, encouraging them to learn new things about each other.
281. Desk Decoration Challenge: Have a themed contest for the best-decorated desk or workspace, judged on creativity and humor.
282. Office Scavenger Hunt: Create a scavenger hunt with a list of humorous and quirky items to find around the office.
283. “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” Office Edition: A game where employees participate in improvisational comedy scenarios based on office life.
284. The Awkward Story Circle: Gather in a circle and start a story with a bizarre or funny sentence, with each person adding to it.
285. Funny Hat Day: Designate a day where everyone wears a funny hat, and award a prize for the most creative hat.
286. Meme Sharing Contest: Have team members create or share their favorite work-related memes.
287. Talent Show: Host a light-hearted talent show where employees can showcase their hidden, funny talents.
288. Role Reversal Day: Employees swap roles for a day, humorously attempting tasks usually handled by their colleagues.
289. Mock Award Ceremony: Create humorous and positive awards for employees, like ‘Most Likely to Save the Day with a Spreadsheet’.
290. Team Roast Session: With rules for positivity and fun, team members gently roast each other, highlighting amusing habits or traits.
291. Office Pictionary or Charades: Play games where employees have to draw or act out work-related words or phrases.
292. Karaoke Challenge: Host a karaoke session with a twist – employees can only sing songs related to work or the office environment.
293. Funny Photo Booth: Set up a photo booth with comical props and backdrops for teams to take hilarious pictures together.
294. Dress as Your Boss/Colleague Day: A light-hearted day where employees dress up as their boss or a colleague in a fun way.

Create Your Own Superhero: Teams create a superhero character complete with unique powers that could be useful in the office.

Need help thinking of questions to ask other people? We have a fantastic list of 450 Fun Questions to Ask Anyone and 140 Funny Things to Say in Any Situation.